I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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