evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize