Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize