Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
