dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Randomize
