oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
