You're a womanizer and a bitch.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
