At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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