When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
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Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
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It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian