i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?