It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
