Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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