dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
