I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
