So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
