just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
