you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
