I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
