i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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