I murdered the dance floor call the cops
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
