I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
