i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
