That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
