she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
