if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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