I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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