As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
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And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
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All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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