Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
