pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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