found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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