I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize