So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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