dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize