If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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