She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize