i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
