Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Randomize
