I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
