Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
