dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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