dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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