i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
