Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
