omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
