oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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