do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think I just shit out all my problems.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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