Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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