"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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