hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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