Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
