u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
