You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize