There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
