Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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