Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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