the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
