Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
