i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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