I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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