What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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