apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
