what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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